Hi! I am TRIM Trainer, Tonya! As a mom of two who also works outside the home and run my own TRIM business, so I get how hard it can be to carve out time for yourself.
My 12-year-old and 9-year-old have schedules that require color coding just so my husband and I make sure we don’t miss a practice, school activity or one of their many social obligations. I am feeding people and myself on the go and sometimes it seems I rarely see the inside of my own home.As a m
Outside of being a TRIM Trainer, I (and my husband) have a job that is time intensive and emotionally exhausting. And I don’t know if anyone has told you yet, but parenting a tween girl is not for the faint of heart! Emotions and stress run high around here. The practice of self-care, giving yourself grace and treating your body kindly are important when it comes to parenting, but these often take a backseat to the day’s obligations.
I am here to tell you that you will be a better parent, better partner, better friend, better employee and better to yourself if you claim some time back for yourself. Regular exercise, eating well and self care activities help caregivers maintain physical and mental health, reduce stress and improve their overall wellbeing.
When caregivers are taking time for wellness and self care, they recharge their own batteries, improve their resilience and patience. Caregivers who practice routine self care have improved emotional stability and this ultimately improves family dynamics (reducing family stress before it starts). Exercise releases endorphins and these naturally reduce stress and can help reduce cortisol (the stress hormone). Building wellness and self care habits and incorporating them into your daily routine serves as a model for your children as well. Your children will be more likely to adopt a healthy lifestyle if they see you engaging in regular physical activity, practicing healthy coping skills and eating well. What you do now to take care of yourself is setting the foundation for good health practices for your children throughout their lives. For those of us who have neglected our self care and wellness for a long time, we may feel lost and not sure where to begin.t time for
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Here are some ways you can reclaim your time and find yourself again.
Schedule breaks during the day: Take a quick walk around the block at lunch. Listen to an audio book in the parking lot of your child’s daycare for 10 minutes before going in to pick them up after work.
Practice deep breathing exercises or mindfulness/meditation: You can find these easily on You Tube or Google “box breathing” for an easy place to start. You do not have to meditate perfectly or for hours – 5 to 10 minutes a day can make a huge improvement.
Ask for Help: We don’t get extra parenting points for being a martyr or refusing help, just burnt out and tired. Delegate tasks with your partner, split carpool tasks with neighbors/friends, trade babysitting with a friend with kids so you can have some time alone.
Set Boundaries: Protect your time. Make your workout time a non-negotiable to everyone in your life.
Connect with Support: Reach out to friends who are in the same parenting stage as you and talk with them about your stressors. Cultivate a parenting group in your neighborhood, your faith community, your kid’s school.
Prioritize Sleep: The dirty dishes or laundry will be there tomorrow. When you are exhausted, go to sleep.
Hobbies: Engage in hobbies that bring you joy. This may be exercise, cooking, baking, sewing, watching reruns of your favorite tv shows or reading a book.
Seek Professional Help: Do not be afraid or embarrassed to seek professional counseling or support. That dedicated one hour, in a supportive, empathic, non-judgmental environment may be the one thing that supports your wellness the most.
Lastly, let go of the guilt of caring for yourself. Parents who make space and time for themselves are making intentional choices that better the whole family. When you care for yourself effectively, you will be more effective at caring for your children. When you care for yourself, you model the importance of wellness and self care for your children. When you care for yourself, you fill your own cup. We cannot pour from an empty cup. What one self care practice are you willing to being this week to support your wellness journey? Start small and build from there. You deserve this!
If you are not sure where to even start, I can help you! For my clients in TRIM, I help them add healthy habits that work with their family and lifestyle. In 7 weeks you will have new habits that will change your life and give you back time. I have a new round starting the first Monday of every month!
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husband and I make sure we don’t miss a practice, school activity or one of their many social
obligations. I am feeding people and myself on the go and sometimes it seems I rarely see the
inside of my own home